What I Experienced

Never have I been at such a loss for words until the moment my family members were hospitalized with severe illnesses. Once a person’s trust has been broken it’s hard to restore it. That’s what happened to me and led me to sleep in the waiting room all night and night after night or in the chair by his side when no other roommate was present. From day-to-day my routine did not change very much, getting up around 6am to give him a bath every morning, feeding him his meals or cleaning his wound because it was not getting done like ordered by the doctor.

There were times I did not eat or go to shower until after midnight and right back so afraid that I would miss something, because procedures were scheduled when I would leave but promised another time. Nurses, paramedics and others that came to know me would tell me if they were in my position they would do the same thing and not trust anyone because they have seen the bad patient care. I was very concerned; he had a tracheotomy and could not talk. I would not prepare for travel to check our home unless a couple of nurses that I trusted would do a double shift. Then I would drive home for four to five hours and back before they got off duty. When I left once, and later returned 45 minutes right after dinner time, his dinner was still there and dinner is served every evening at 5:00.

Occasionally, a couple of patients did not eat dinner until late because of staff shortages, they could not feed themselves. Patients would push the call light for help to the bathroom, a staff member would come in and cut the light off and say I’ll be right back, it was 30 minutes later before they returned. Patients that had no family members whom visit on a daily basis were treated terrible. It was stated to me that you need to go home, you see too much! On several occasions I complained to the head nurse about the noise carried on during the night by the staff, no respect for the patients sleeping. They were very rough with the patients to get the job done before the morning shift reported to duty. There were nurses that disliked me and would not have my love one as a patient to care for because I was concern about his care and asked questions. Some nurses and aides loved it because I did everything for him as if he had a private nurse and that was the way he wanted it when he became alert and oriented, he too understands the healthcare system. He has been a paramedic/firefighter for over 30 years.

In addition to all the horror we went through upon discharged it took four family members to help him in the house (four women, one 13 years old the other an elderly woman) and we brought him in the house on a furniture dolly because we had no wheelchair. He’s paralyzed from the stroke and could not walk, also keep in mind this is 270 pound man. I could go on and on about my experiences some good, some bad and the wonderful people I meet during this difficult time. The bottom line is please, please keep an eye out for your family members it’s a nationwide healthcare problem. I realize there are people out there unable to care for their family member 24 hours a day, or a sick individual that has no one able to take time away to care for them without experiencing a financial hardship. There are good healthcare providers, but let’s face it, to some it’s just a job, however, it’s great to be safe and understand as well as knowing what’s going on.

I want to help people suffering from a major setback or devastation that there’s help, walk by faith not by sight. This is why Memra is so important to me to let people know you are not alone. Most importantly, avoid the negative surroundings. At a difficult time all one needs is negativity or criticism, negative is negative no matter where it comes from. Who needs the added stress at a time of need, it is not worth it, support is what you need. This was a very difficult time for me everything that could go wrong went wrong. Without the help of my family, a couple of close friends and our firefighter family I don’t think I could have made it this far. There was a lady her name was Mrs. Walker, I believe she was my angel. Mrs. Walker would speak to me every day for two months and quote scriptures from the bible. I will never forget what she told me, I needed to take care of myself first to be able to care for him, if you are down what good are you to him. You will need two things that will help you to the end of the tunnel, that’s GOD and boxing gloves. Trust no one! She also told me God is a high God that sits high and looks low, trust in him; because silence is golden, take your troubles to him and leave them, he’ll take care of it. Mrs. Walker went home late June 2006 on my birthday. She holds a chapter in my life.